When I’m not busy thinking about the microscopic parasites that consume dead epidermal cells and lay their eggs in human skin, I make it a point to remind you about them. Demodex mites live their simple lives in the follicles of human eyelashes, causing no harm to their hosts. Normally. If you experience abnormal eyelid itching, consult a parasitologist, because what with my new campaign to reclaim KCUR from the stranglehold of its geriatric constituency, I have exactly zero time to listen to sob stories about your epidermal biodiversity.
Because Jesus Christ, KCUR, A Prairie Home Companion TWICE A WEEK? Is that just in case I missed some subtlety of Garrison Keillor singing a gospel song three notes off-key during the first broadcast? I barely talk to my girlfriend that often. Yes, I know a lot of people insist that Garrison Keillor is funny. In fact, here they are enjoying a joke about Minnesota Lutherans:
As a preemptive military strike against your argument that KCUR appeals to listeners <55 years old with broadcasts of Ira Glass’ This American Life, I can only say that I don’t really listen to the show right now, but why don’t you give me a yell when it’s ten years ago?
I guess we can all count our blessings that KCUR doesn’t broadcast smelly old Harry Shearer’s NPR show. But I hope their programming director is aware that the DNA polymerase complex inside the cells of KCUR listeners is rapidly running out of the telomeres that act as a disposable buffer at the ends of their DNA strands, and soon the station will have no audience left. It’s very sad, like disappearing polar bears.
My point: Instead of two weekly broadcasts of the funereal Garrison Keillor, KCUR could be filling some of that time with Jesse Thorn’s The Sound of Young America, but it’s the kind of situation where the station probably has to hit rock-bottom before it gets up off its donut-shaped prostate cushion and goes looking for help. However, if you are the kind of person who listens to podcasts, The Sound of Young America is available in that convenient portable format. Mostly, the show consists of interviews with people who work in comedy and host Jesse Thorn has pretty unimpeachable taste in popular culture.
Finally, these listeners of Michael Feldman’s Whad’ya Know? remind you to take your Centrum Silver:
My inability to sincerely recommend awesome things without acting like a bitch is underwritten by the Ford Foundation, The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, ADM: Supermarket to the World, and listeners like you.
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Solid. The wife wasted one of our movie rentals on the Prairie Home movie a couple months ago. Like most of Garrison’s regular audience, she was asleep 30 minutes in. Luckily, I began dozing off as well or the barrel of the gun in my mouth might have been pointing directly at my brain.
The reason I’m interested in maybe watching that film is because P.T. Anderson (reportedly) did a lot of the actual directing, as Robert Altman was preoccupied during shooting with his impending death.
I take exception, sir, to you assertion that the programing on KCUR only appeals to those 55 and older.
I listen to KCUR all day long, every day and I am a spry and sassy 52. So there.
For what it’s worth, I like Prairie Home Companion on the radio very much. But even I was bored to tears with the Altman movie.
As per usual, what I intended as a positive endorsement of something cool got sidetracked by my fondness for acting like a bitch. On the other hand, according to some T-shirts, God don’t make no trash, which means that my inherent negativity is nothing to worry about.
However, Xavier, I am aware of your partiality to Patton Oswalt, who goes on TSOYA, like, every other week. Recommend: STRONG BUY!
If Walt Bodine isn’t for up and coming hipsters then I don’t know what is!
….well, garrison WAS sharper back in the early 80s when the program originally aired.
or…perhaps it was just the influence of all the bolivian marching powder that had illegally snuck across the arizona border in the middle of the night (sans need for coyotes - its eyes were WIDE OPEN!) to coat both the id and the fine hairs and of middle america’s nostrils.
coin toss, really.
also watched the movie ’cause altman directed: i was hoping he could pull off that sort of sick and twisted emotional nakedness from garrison and lindsey that he wrenched from tom and nicole. minus tom’s blatant gayness, of course. garrisaon? ick!
alas and alack, it was not to be. the film did have some posisitives, one being that - knowing an overexposed product when he ran into it several times a day - altman did not show us any part of lindsey’s bared flesh.
vis a vis walt bodine: through the offices of hgh, magic, witchcraft, transmigration, transubstation, tree sap spiked by insane druids and sold by l.l. bean as vermont maple syrup, polar bears WILL disappear before long before walt retires.
whew: thank your favorite non-existant supernatural diety for that!